venial vs. mortal

Dear God, why am I so weak? Why do I say one thing but then do another? I know it’s wrong to buy $20 shoes from Urban Outfitters, I know that. But then I go shopping with teenage girls and suddenly I’m squealing with delight at the cute bags and hair-bands you have placed before me.

At least I didn’t buy the “african skimmers” pictured below. I’m pretty sure that would be a mortal-er.

this season’s must have accessory: the invisible dog

Sometimes people use dogs as accessories. We all know this.

But what happens if your dog doesn’t go with what you’re wearing? Or what if your dog upstages your outfit? That’s where the shi-tsu comes in. I’ve been walking my neighbor’s shi-tsu and no one even notices I’m with a dog. It’s great. It’s like having an invisible dog.

Decorating the Revolution

You know all those design blogs where girls take pictures of their furniture and their dog and their breakfast?

Now, I don’t mean to be such a hater because when I first started looking at those blogs I thought the pictures were kind of pretty.

But now Blueprint magazine is doing it and Blueprint is a magazine that has a “if you like this band, then you’ll like this band” music column, and once it said that if you liked the Black Eyed Peas then you’d like Public Enemy. And then it had to explain to the Blueprint readers who Public Enemy is.

So ladies, it’s time to stop. Start posting about the revolution or something.

4711

Remember 4711? You could buy it at the drugstore? You probably had a cousin (or in my case a whole family of cousins) who doused themselves in it? No?

Well maybe it’s time you tried it out. It smells all fresh, it’s cheap and it has the best label. I would recommend it as a gift. Not a boyfriend to girlfriend gift (because that would seem cheap) but as a girlfriend to girlfriend gift, especially if you feel like getting all nostalgic with her and drinking a bottle of wine and reminiscing about going to Boots with your Mom. It’s that kind of perfume.

I used to play a game called olden days.

So the kids these days like to wear the neckerchief. And they like to wear it old west style. I don’t understand. When I lived in the Yukon, German tourists used to come to town all wearing the neckerchief, with those Australian oilcloth raincoats and hunting knives on their belts. It was so lame. Grown men all together acting like they were walking into some lawless frontier town looking for whores and whiskey. When really all they were looking for was German food and the tour bus.

So it confuses me when I am walking on main street and I can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a kid in converse and tight jeans who looks like he might be in the stage coach robbing business. What are they wearing them for? So they don’t get dust on their necks?

Like ghosts, they just dissapeared, and we didn’t mourn their loss.

Things that I hope go away for spring 2007:

Dude designed clothing lines.

Old timey silk screened t-shirts.

Jeans.

Charm necklaces.

Boots.

Hey Hey Alberta. Look at you all grown up.

I just stumbled upon these girls from Alberta (way to go Texas of the North!). They have some pretty nifty and funny stuff. I don’t see any news on their website www.loyalloot.com past 2006, which is cause for concern, but maybe they’re just too busy being smart. Here’s two of my favorites:

And I’m not convinced about their clothing line, but I like these two dresses:

soft breezes

I will celebrate this first day of spring with Minnie Ripperton:

What is it that I love so much about Steve Martin?

Is it his physical comedy? His slight menace? His art collecting? I don’t know, but after watching The Jerk and Pennies From Heaven this weekend, I think it might have something to do with Bernadette Peters.

What is it that I love so much about Bernadette Peters?

Is it her voice? Her kewpie doll looks? Her great rack? I don’t know, but after watching The Jerk and Pennies From Heaven this weekend I think it might have something to do with Steve Martin.