Stretchy Pants

by yayayanonono

So, I’m not a big fan of denim with the spandex.

Back in the day if you had pants with spandex you called them “stretchy pants”. Fat people wore them. Now everyone wears them. A couple of years ago, I bought a pair of Yanuk jeans that I thought were the bomb. It ends up, they have like 4% spandex. They look like leggings that are supposed to look like jeans. Like the ones that have the funny fake “pockets” and a “zipper fly” printed on them. The pant equivalent to the tuxedo t-shirt. They managed to stretch out so much when I would wear them, that they would slide off when I bent down to pick something up, yet curiously, remained skin tight on my thighs. I swore I would never again wear jeans that had anything more than 1% stretch (and even that, I am wary of. I like my jeans to fit like a girdle.) So I’m in a bit of a pickle with these 18th amendment jeans. I am dying a small denim death inside because:

A. They are almost $400.

2. They are 2% spandex.

Besides that, they’re perfect.